:: Metamorphasista ::

I'm a sarcastic asshole, but I will love you so hard. I laugh loudly and my hair is that of a pony. I am married. I make music and art and funnies. I also have both arms, so...progress.

12 notes

Y(our) relationship every day

Him: What do you want to do about dinner?

Me: I don’t care, just think of something.

Him: *sigh* Please, just make a suggestion. I don’t care what we eat, I just want to get it over with now so we don’t eat late and I have time to relax before we go to bed.

Me: I don’t care either! How about a burger from somewhere?

Him: I don’t want a burger. We’ve been eating like shit lately.

Me: Okaaay… so what do YOU want?

Him: *grits teeth* I’m trying to do you a favor because you don’t want to cook. I can get something else and pick you up a burger if that’s what you want.

Me: I don’t really have a taste for anything, I was just throwing out a suggestion. If you go to two places, one of us will have cold food. I’ll just get something from wherever you were going to get food from.

Him: But you want a burger.

Me: No, I don’t necessarily WANT a burger, I was just suggesting something so we can fucking eat. Holy shit, just tell me where you’re going and I’ll get something from there.

Him: But you don’t want anything from where I’m going.

Me: I DON’T CARE.

Him: But you do, and then I’ll get you something and you’ll look all irritated eating it and I’ll feel bad and it’ll ruin your night.

Me: OMG, will you please just tell me where you’re going.

Him: … … I don’t know.

Me: I hate this so much. I’m just going to cook dinner. *gets up*

Him: No, don’t cook, I know you don’t really want to cook. You’re tired, it’s okay, I don’t mind picking up food. Just tell me what you want.

Me: I AM GOING TO MURDER YOU. When I say I don’t care, I mean that I don’t care.

Him: *suspicious* *tentative*

Me: You just want me to decide, don’t you.

Him: YES. Please, just pick something.

Me: Okay, how about tacos?

Him: I’ll just go get burgers.

Me: *heavy sigh* Fine. Where are you going?

Him: Just not Jack because we’ve eaten there a bunch lately.

Me: Then YOU pick where you want a burger from. Are we really doing this?

Him: If you want Jack in the Box, I’ll get it. I’m just going to get in the car. Text me what you want.

Me: This is ridiculous. WHAT DO YOU WANT.

Him: I want you to eat the food that won’t bum you out.

Me: But I don’t know what I want, I don’t care, so just for the love of god go get some food, bring it back and I’ll eat it.

Him: Okay, I’m going to Jack in the Box.

Filed under every single night

5 notes

I DON’T CARE ABOUT JAMIE. HE IS TOO OBVIOUS. Also, I dare you to not think of Sean Astin. “I DONT MEAN TO MR FRODO.”

Gimme some Claire/Dougal angry boning in the woods for FUCK’S SAKE.

I have not read the books, please do not spoil me. But I’m fairly certain I’m not going to see any “I hate you! Fuck me!” scenes in the near future.

Also, I can’t un-hear Groundskeeper Willie in every episode. Don’t care love it.

Filed under outlander

791 notes

micdotcom:

Watch: If Latinos said the stuff white people say to them it would sound super offensive

Irony (n): When you ask someone from the second oldest ethnic group in the United States if they’re here “illegally.”

Welcome to being Latino, where you’re frequently treated like a cultural alien no matter where you’re actually from or how long you’ve been here. These and other slights pepper BuzzFeed’s new video “If Latinos Said the Stuff White People Say,” which humorously redirects racially insensitive assumptions toward the people who might otherwise express them.

Read more

My favorite/not favorite:

Latino waiter asks for your order, clearly understood. Barely a trace of an accent. And even if the person (usually your parent or someone old) has a hard time making it out, context clues should help. IN A RESTAURANT. What else could he possibly be asking you?However, this is what follows.

White woman, leans into her husband/child, speaking loud enough for the waiter to hear: what did he say? I can’t understand him.

OMG. This happens all the time. It’s okay to ask someone to repeat themselves. It’s not okay to treat them as if they aren’t there. Also, I’m in Texas. These bitches have zero excuses.

(via cynicalgraycrayon)

1 note

Students Develop Nail Polish That Can Detect Date Rape Drugs | IFLScience

THIS IS SO AWESOME.

Filed under nail polish date rape prevention